Care for Some TEE?

That's Trans-Esophageal-Electrocardiogram. They shove an ultrasound transducer down your throat until it's got a clear shot at the heart, with no ribs in the way. Then they do an electrocardiogram from there. When I mention the test and express distaste, everyone - doctors, nurses and janitors says "ah, but you'll be sedated - no problem." I guess it's a reflex for medical people to minimize the unpleasant parts of the procedures they put you through. Reducing the anxiety of patients waiting for fun things like the TEE makes sense. But I always feel a bit betrayed and condescended to on the other side of the experience, when I compare what they told me to expect with what actually happened.

In this case, I know all about the TEE since I had one after my open heart surgery in January. It's true they sedate you for the procedure itself, and that is effective. But there's a set up phase they don't tell you about. That's where they numb your throat, then shove a tube down there to test the gag reflex. You choke, they numb some more and the process gets repeated. They need you conscious for this tasty part of the test, because they need your gag reflex to be unimpaired by anything but their topical anesthetic. It turns out I have a strong gag reflex. Back in January, it took five or six go rounds before I stopped gagging. At that point they hit me with the sedative and I went to dreamland for the rest of the fun.

I've just been told the test has been canceled.