Saturday, March 13, 2010

Oh Nooooo!

To: ME
Date: Sat, Mar 13 at 7:26 AM
Subject: the official instructions

U.S. Department of Homeland Security

13 March 2010

Yesterday the Department of Homeland Security has received
the prevention from NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory about
the occurred shift of Earth's figure axis:

The recent Chilean earthquake shifted the axis by
approximately three inches and shortened the length
of a day by 1.26 microseconds. According to NASA's Jet
Propulsion Laboratory the displacement of Earth's axis
will cause natural disasters on the Eastern coast of
the USA including Florida, Georgia, South and North

In this connection the DHS has made a decision to prepare for
general evacuation from the specified area. The population of
the region should be ready for evacuation. It is necessary
collect valuable possessions, documents, things of first
necessity, and wait for the announcement.

In order to prevent panic among the population DHS asks to
stay calm and follow the official instructions listed below:

(Links to sites that tell you what to do with your valuable possessions omitted.)